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Nothing But the Truth

September 14, 2007

Humor is complex, and especially so in the realm of politics. Something else that’s complex in the realm of politics is the notion of trust. The American public has finally begun to grown skeptical over whom they trust after years of biased news coverage, shady media conglomeration and deceitful political administrations. So this brings about the inevitable question: why should you trust me? Do I know everything about politics? Of course not. Can I keep secrets? Kelly’s pregnant and she’s probably not going to keep it, but don’t tell anyone that I told you. But am I funny? I would sure like to think so. Or, at the very least, funny things have a tendency of finding me.

To prove this, I will relay an anecdote from my childhood. When I was 8 years-old, my treasured hermit crab, cleverly nicknamed “Hermy,” died. When I made it to his cage, I only found his shell. At first, this didn’t surprise me, because Hermy was a frequent exhibitionist and enjoyed chilling with his toys in the nude. After I thoroughly inspected the cage, I was shocked to find that Hermy was nowhere to be found, so I asked my mom if she had seen the naked refugee. She quickly sat me down and began to dispense the enchanting tale of the underground hermit crab railroad.

“Deep under the streets, there is a railroad for homesick hermit crabs,” she explained. “The hermit crabs all take the train back to New Jersey to meet up with their families.”

I instantly imagined flocks of homesick hermit crabs trekking down to the train station, some toting tiny suitcases, others, like Hermy, braving the journey naked. Little did I know that Hermy hadn’t boarded any underground railroad. He was, in fact, buried in the front yard in a shoebox next to my mom’s tulips.

Sure, my mom’s intentions were admirable, but in the end, she withheld the truth, regardless of whether it was to prevent a midlife crisis pre-puberty. As upsetting as the truth might be, it is the truth. With that said, I pledge to not conjure up fuzzy stories akin to the underground hermit crab railroad. We’re putting this blog together to promote discourse between politicians and the rest of the nation and to foster an atmosphere comfortable enough for questions to be asked and the truth to be delivered. The humor division of this blog maintains the same prerogatives, we just have a more amusing way of telling the truth.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Zakahi permalink
    September 15, 2007 7:14 am

    I think our dear friend Steven Colbert would point out that the underground hermit crab railroad is not tall tail, but fact shot straight from the gut. For many people these are emotional topics, the “truth” is something that can appear to change shape when not approached from a rational position.

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